Dysfunctional Fam
by HenryandRicken
Summary: Okei, so I save the title as how I have it written down. Don't question it Today was the day, today was the day that Yuri Plisetsky goes to "big kid school". And no, Yuuri isn't a woman, he just acts like a mom. Rated T for Yuri's dirty facewords.


**A/N there's not enough babby!Yuri, so I did this. Yuuri is such a mom, and Viktor... what even is Viktor? I'm gonna update this as much as I can, my cool kid friends distract me from this tho. Sorry Dave, it's not you, it's your ironic shades. ~ Henry**

Today was the day. Today was the day Yuri Plisetsy, as a grown up person, is finally going to big kid school. By that, his mom meant middle school. His mom is not really a "mom" in the biological sense, he's just... a mom. Yeah, Yuri's parents were gay, and that may or may not have been the best for a growing _Russian_ boy, but what can you do?

He wasn't really made fun of for it, Seung Gil had two dads, and nobody made fun of him for it. Then again, _nobody_ bothers Seung Gil. He just stares, stares at the usurper until they go away. It's like he radiates dark energy or something. Yuri wasn't his friend, but he was his acquaintance nonetheless. Ji Guang Hong was also an "acquaintance", considering he was a cute, squishy little Chinese kid who was prone to attracting bullies. Yuri was friends with a few other people of different ethnicities, but back to the matter at hand.

"Yuuuuuura, you can get out of the room now!", his forever overexcited dad, Viktor, was knocking on his bedroom door, begging him to come outside to make him more attracted to an educational _hell_. Yuri knew his father wasn't above bribery, too. He wouldn't give in, even if it was for a noble, furry cause. Yuri's (visibly unstable) family was big enough with one kid, why not add a dog and two cats? Yes, he was keeping his (The two Yuri's keep the cats, Viktor has Makkachin) cats in his room with him. One was a fluffy Siamese, and the other looked like a brown tiger.

"Yurio? Are you still in there?", _fuck, it's mom_. It was an unsaid rule that Yuuri's rules were law, and never say otherwise. There would be dire consequences otherwise, Viktor would know, he was left on the couch for three weeks before he could kiss his precious katsudon. Yuri gave up to his inner turmoil," Yeah, in in here mom. Dad won't stop groping my door though." There was an odd silence before Yuuri knocked on his door. "Come on, you have to go to school Yurio." _Damn it_. "Fine, let's get this over with, damn."

After Yuri left his makeshift haven, he immediately went to the bus stop, only stopping to get a hug and reassurance from his mom. Viktor, however, was nowhere to be found. While waiting on the bus, he noticed another kid waiting too. "Hey Seung Gil, how was your summer?" The Korean boy was staring into space, only giving a shrug to show he was listening. Yuri winces for asking, Seung Gil always answers like that. Just a noncommittal shrug. He doesn't know how or why, but Yuri could just find it irritating. Just like his dullness and aloofness.

Oh, the bus was here. Wonderful, like the guy who comes to tell you 'hey, you're going to hell'. This day was just great, with the extra sarcasm. Yuri was at least a bit excited to see Guang-Hong. He has some sort of magical happy aura or some other crap to make people smile more just being in the same room as him. It was probably his chubby, eternally happy face. Why Guang-Hong still had baby fat on his face was a mystery.

Yuri and Seung Gil walked up to the bus door, greeted by a grumpy looking adult in the drivers seat, "Alright, get on you two, I ain't gonna wait for you to sit so hold onto something." Well, that's slightly reassuring. The driver had some weird, long blonde hair too. Is that normal for a grown man? Especially since it was pulled back and stuck behind his head with a headband looking thing. That wasn't the least bit awkward, yet again being a smartass or just sarcastic before school always helps a tad. Speaking of which, he wasn't lying, so he and Seung Gil rushed into the closest seats to the front.

Seung Gil sat with some (albino?) kid who was wearing sunglasses, Yuri was propelled into a seat with a sickly kid with a cat jacket. Which led to him awkwardly staring while the kid pretty much sunk in on himself to try and hide. "Hey, where'd you get such a cool jacket?" Yuri tried to ask without sounding aggressive as usual. Okay, now he just looks like his was going to spontaneously combust by how red the parts of his face were," Um, my second brother got it for me..." the kid just told him and pulled the strings on his jacket so the little ears pointed closer to the center of his face. Wait, how many siblings did this guy have? All Yuri has is Makkachin, Yuratchka, and Koshka (I'm being very unoriginal, literally Koshka means "cat" in Russian. Sorry for being a loser).

"So, how many brothers do you have anyway? I'm an only child." "Oh, um, I have five. Why?" _WHAT THE FRICKLY DICK?_ "Five?", Yuri was completely blown out of the water there. "Oh yeah, I'm Ichimatsu Matsuno..." "Cool, I'm Yuri Plisetsky, by the way, do you like cats?" There was a short silence before," Yes."

And that's how the day started, which wasn't too terribly bad.

 **More Loser/N mmk so, I hate myself for putting this in halfway finished, but I had EOC's last week and I feel dead, can't wait for exams NEXT week. So I'm just gonna update whenever I have inspiration. And I know you guys might notice the BG characters like Dave Stridab™ (intentionally memes) and Ukai Keishin, so I was feeling a lil down on that one scale called imagination, and recently started watching Haikyuu. So yeah, I own nothing except the inspiration here & Merry Xmas if I don't get the next chap in before then * dabsplodes *™**


End file.
